Kiss Me
by Insanity's Partner
Summary: Edward, in an attempt to impress Bella, takes up the guitar. Oh my....is that the sound of a guitar being thrown through a window, I hear? OOC PreNewMoon OneShot
1. FM7sus2

_**Disclaimer**_: All recognizable characters are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. The situation however, belongs to me.

* * *

_**Kiss Me**_

I'd never felt more like an idiot in eighty years.

It was just an instrument! I'd mastered the piano…why should the guitar be any different?

I have no idea what'd made me say it. I was just holding her. We were listening to some song on the radio. I wasn't paying attention, as she'd buried her face in the crook of my neck, and the sensation was fabulous. Any sensible thought had already left my mind, because her hand had reached up, and started idly playing with my hair.

"Mmm…." She murmured, and the feel of her breath against my skin was ecstasy. "I love this song."

I stopped for a minute. It was a simple acoustic piece. A popular song with cute lyrics.

"So kiss me….So kiss me….So kiss me……."

The final chords faded away.

"I can play that."

I'm still not sure what made me say it. Maybe it was the constant urge to impress her…make it seem as though I wasn't as useless as I was sure I was. She lifted her head to look at me, and my neck felt suddenly freezing.

"You can play the guitar?"

Her hands were idly brushing against the skin of my chest. I couldn't think.

"Yes."

So after she went home, and I rushed forth to find a guitar store in Port Angeles, buying a guitar.

I figured I would start by learning the simple sounding song she'd said she loved on the radio.

And I realized I had no idea where to start.

After a few minutes of debating, I finally pulled up an internet page on my laptop, surfing through Google, wondering how I was going to do this.

Apparently, there were people who listened to songs and took the time to figure out how to play them, and then post them online, in the form of words and little letters on top of them. I wondered idly what "Capo Third" meant.

----Dm---G—C-------Am7-------  
Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight

Dm---G—C----------C7------Dm  
Lead me out on the moonlit floor

-----G---------------  
Lift up your open hand

--C-----------Gsus4/B------------Am7-------  
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance

Gsus2---------F--FM7sus2--Gsus4--G-pause-----  
Silver moon's sparkling………………..So Kiss me

What is a C supposed to be? What does CM7 mean? What the hell is a Gsus4/B?!

I backed up a little bit, going back to Google and looking a little bit harder. Just as there were chords, there were some gracious people who wrote the music out in the form of a tab, where they told you where each finger was supposed to be placed.

I smiled. This was suddenly so much easier. I had the music, now all I had to do was play it for her.

I placed my fingers where it said to in the tab, and strummed for a minute.

_So this is a C. Easy enough._

I moved on to the CM7….taking a minute to find the right places, and then pressing my fingers down and finding that it was the same as the last chord, without having my index finger on the second to top string.

Okay. I moved on to the next chord, and the next, and the next. I smiled. This was so easy.

And now that I'd played each separate chord, I decided that I should try to play it all at once now.

I began strumming the C, and I paused, removing my hand and trying to find the CM7…forgetting to simply lift my index finger.

I started over. It must be perfect. I must be able to play it without any pauses.

_-Twenty Minutes L__ater-_

"Stupid worthless piece of—"

The guitar crashed through the glass, the shatter drowning out my words as I watched the guitar fly down two stories, and then smacking into the ground on its back—amazingly and impossibly remaining intact.

I stared down at it in shock, wondering if I'd purchased a demon guitar, before hearing a snicker from behind me.

I wheeled around seeing tiny Bella, snickering from behind her palm. I suddenly tensed in horror. What would she say? Would she realize how terrible I am? Would she seek out a better man?

She walked over to me, however, wrapping her arms around my waist and whispering, "Thank you."

I stared down at her in shock, wondering if she'd lost her mind.

When I didn't say anything, she continued. "Thank you, for going through all of the trouble in trying to please me, and for proving to me that there really is something you're terrible at."

I looked at her in shock and shame, not saying anything.

She reached up, and kissed my lips.

Any sane thought was, once again, lost.

* * *

When I first started to play guitar, Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer was the first song I tried to learn. It is a very simple song…but it moves fast. For a beginner, it's hard to get your fingers to the right places in time. It's more of an intermediate song than a novice one. It was the song that kicked my ass. It was very frustrating, and made me feel pretty stupid, lol. So I revisited it later, after I'd learned how to read chords, and tried playing it again. I was amazed I ever thought it was hard. 

It's a very fun song.

This is very OOC, but that's the point. This whole one-shot was just for kicks, and a big, giant inside joke. A few of you that know me might get the inner-punchline. This is pre-New Moon, before poor Edward learns that he's awful at tracking.

You can find the full tab on ultimate-guitar . com


	2. Renouncement

Given some of the flames I received, I decided to edit this Author's Note.

I'm renouncing my Twilight Fandom for several reasons.

The first being that everyone has noticed the quality of her books taking a massive downward spiral. I think to her, it's becoming like trying to squeeze water out of a rock.

I'm not going to pretend I didn't like Twilight and New Moon, but enough is enough. I'm not going to say I didn't like Breaking Dawn, but if I was being honest with myself, I'd have to say I enjoyed laughing it it much more than I enjoyed reading it.

The second reason is that Stephenie Meyer's book got leaked all over the internet, and now she's whining and crying, "Oh, I cannot go on!"

As if it's never happened before. Seth MacFarlane was pissed when The Family Guy Movie had a massive leak a few days before it was released, but he didn't just pull the plug and cry, "You hurt me so badly! I can never give out my manuscript to you random shady-looking people if you're all just going to leak it!"

Frankly, it's her fault for giving it out in the first place.

I also feel like there's a pretty good chance that she leaked it herself. She said that her first impulse was to not continue, and then she assured everyone that it was only on hold, but that's a lie. She put the draft on her website for everyone to read. As long as it's there, she can't publish it because it would violate her copyright. She knows this. That was the reason she couldn't post the first chapter of Breaking Dawn on her website.

To me, that shows that she has no intent at all to publish it for as long as it's on her website. And even if she did still intend to publish it, she wouldn't have kept the book on her website so everyone could continue reading it. She would have taken it off in the hopes of keeping things from getting any worse.

She says, "But to end the confusion, I've decided to make the draft available here after _Midnight Sun_ page). This way, my readers don't have to feel they have to make a sacrifice to stay honest."

I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but you can't find the leak anymore. Every single leak has been eliminated. If she didn't want her readers to read it, all she would have to do is keep it off of her site. Her readers wouldn't have to sacrifice anything because they wouldn't get the chance to see it.

On top of that, she's directing the Jack's Mannequin video...when did this happen? Did anyone see what they had to say about this? "No, there won't be any vampires, but there might be some mermaids."

_How are they letting her _do _this?!_ Has she brainwashed them or something?

I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I'd love to hear what you have to say.

-Val (Insanity's Partner)


End file.
